It is my belief that a goal is like hope. If I set a goal and get discouraged, I often give up and never reach the goal. It is difficult to keep faith when times get hard and when the goal is challenging it may have setbacks that cause me to doubt not only the process but myself, as well. I also believe that if I decide to do something and have a step by step plan, I strive harder to take the necessary steps to fulfill that plan. Therefore, I have decided that I need to design a step by step plan to have a “Higher Quality of Life.” I am sure this will change a bit as time passes but I am alright with that and even look forward to developing a new lifestyle along the way.
Objectives
1: Lose 100lbs. by December 31, 2017
2: Walk continuously for 30 minutes without being completely out of breath or having to sit down by December 31, 2017
Plans
1: Lose 100lbs. by December 31, 2017
A)Increase veggies, fruits, water
B)3 meals per day instead of one
C)Earlier in the evening
D)Smaller portions
E)Reduce Pepsi intake to 3 glasses per day
2: Walk continuously for 30 minutes without being completely out of breath or having to sit down by December 31, 2017.
A)Walk laps in the hallway
B)Gradually increase number of laps
C)Start slow and speed up as laps increase
D)Gradually work toward walking elsewhere
So, there it is, that is the plan that I have decided would work best for me. I must be realistic about not only the objectives but the steps, as well. I know that I will get discouraged and frustrated if I don’t see results. I need to make it clear that I am not doing this to look better. This is to feel physically better. If I lose the weight that will decrease the pressure on my back, hips, knees, and feet. It is my plan to be able to walk better and longer. After all, the plan is a “Higher Quality of Life.”
For the past 15 years, I have gradually seen a decline in my ability to stand and walk. I tried going to doctors but most of them blame everything on smoking and my weight. I admit that I am obese but it hurts my knees to exercise. I wanted to do water exercises but hate going out in public, it triggers my anxiety. I was diagnosed Bipolar with Agoraphobia and Severe Anxiety with Panic Disorder in 2001. Going to the public pool really isn’t an option, especially since I also struggle with self-esteem issues. That doesn’t even include the fact that it costs money to get into the public pool and financially I cannot afford the extra expense.
In 2005 I was declared disabled for the Agoraphobia, my physical limitations, and Arthritis in my knees and spine. It was 3 years ago, that I asked a doctor to give me a disability placard for my car so I could park closer and reduce the pain of walking long distances, and was denied. I am now unable to walk to my bathroom or bedroom from my kitchen without hurting so bad that some days I end up in tears. The doctor said she denied me the disability placard to “preserve my quality of life” and she referred me to physical therapy and aqua therapy to help me lose weight. My insurance would only cover 12 physical therapy sessions and 12 aqua therapy sessions in my lifetime and if I missed two appointments for either one they would not pay for any further sessions. It was late in the year, starting to get cold and the walking after the physical therapy was difficult. I managed to make nearly every appointment but saw no real results from the therapy except severe pain. The doctor recommended 800mg of Ibuprofen alternating every 4 hours with 500mg of Acetaminophen as needed for the pain. Of course, that didn’t help at all and I quickly discovered that those medications upset my stomach.
The hardest part of being limited physically is missing out on everything. I miss out on my children’s school concerts, award ceremonies, and graduations. It is heartbreaking and makes me feel like a horrible parent. In the meantime, my weight has become even more of an issue. I always ate reasonably healthy but the weight and depression keep growing. “Quality of Life,” what does that mean? I don’t feel like I have a “Quality Life” the way things are and I believe I can complete these objectives and hopefully achieve results. I would like to be able to go into the school, stand in line to be seated, and fit into one of the auditorium seats to see my daughter perform in a choir concert. She is my youngest child and I have already missed out on so much with the other 3 children.
It is my intention to journal throughout this process. I don’t expect any of this to be easy or as simple as it sounds when I read it back to myself, but I do hope this plan works. The journaling will help keep me on track and show me some results, even if they are not positive results. If I only lose half the weight at least I will have seen some results. I believe that if I know what does or does not work, I can adjust the plan. I also believe that every little step is a giant accomplishment for someone that was losing faith in everything. I know my weight only increases the pain so reducing my weight should help reduce the pain. That alone would be miraculous and give me hope that one day I really will live a “Higher Quality of Life.”
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